People always post about the beauty of camping and let me tell you their is a lot of it, but it’s honesty time so I am going to give you both sides.
The positives of a camping trip are as follows:
-Mostly great weather
-Forget to count calories.
-Get in a two mile run and you will not get hit by any cyclist.
-Win a game of mini golf for the first and last time.
– campfire lounging.
– Turns out the 15 dollar coffee machine does a good job.
-The tent held up amidst the rain.
-Found a reading a swing.
– Time with family who put up with your funny but sometimes hysterical five year old.
– Turns out quarter showers are doable.
-Get on a paddle board again.
-You will trade stories with your brother in laws girlfriend and glean more from the family psyche than you ever thought you could.
Started with the positives so then here are the negatives:
-Turns out you need a sports bra, a neck brace and three Claritin to board the hayride. Plus gentleman to your left will say things to you like, “You think he’s riding in fifth gear or what bub?” and you will nod politely, inwardly asking him just don’t spill your beer on my eight year old.
-Also one morning you will wake up and your son and husband will both puke their guts out by the picnic table and is their ever enough Lysol? Don’t worry go down to the store and get an Us Weekly and Tylenol and hand sanitizer and cross your fingers.
-When the boat man tells you it’s windy, for god’s sake don’t get a paddle board at that time, because you will start out thinking you are Blake Lively and then by the end of it, you will be Blake Lively in that shark movie and with anxiety full notch you will launch yourself into the dock, shouting nasty comments to anyone listening, because thank god you made it back, right?
-Not everyone is good at karaoke.
-Where is Uncle Dan to make the pancakes and the eggs? Now you have to make them. Also, you will have to do the dishes.
-You will pack healthy fruits and veggies, but then spend your paycheck at the camp store buying things like Twizzlers for your kids and then eat them when they are not looking.
-You will bring the dog but then be the only one to walk the dog, because the kids wanted you to bring him, but their effort stops there.
-What is wrong with the air mattress!?! Why does it feel like someone kicked you repeatedly in the lower back all night?
-Someone will scream at 3 am “Lucky, get back here! Lucky you get back here!” You will think to yourself I hope that’s an animal.
After it is all said and done and you take three hours to unpack everything and look at yourself looking busted in the mirror, you will hope to yourself I hope my kids remember how hard their diva mother worked to rock this camping weekend.
About the Author
I’m Taryn Grant, a kindergarten teacher in Gardiner Maine. I have been teaching kindergarten for nine years and raising two kids for most of that time. I am very passionate about teaching, but never pretend to be the best at my profession or at parenting my own two. I love to share my imperfections through writing. I hope you can relate and enjoy.