Dieting is a terrible journey in the classroom with five year olds. I always start with the best intentions. A great workout in the morning, followed by a nice protein shake and a loud rendition of Nikki Minaj on the way to work. I find it best to get the swear words out before I get to work and the true bucket filling begins, but then by the fifth time I have tied that shoe and fixed those ski pants and up and down during writing workshop forty six times and I have said “use your name tag” 34 times I can start to feel that dry cotton mouth coming on. You know what I mean, the mouth that feels like you have used your voice to the max, but your watered down iced coffee is almost finished and please girl don’t open that desk drawer with the peanut butter m&m’s because those are emergencies only. Then of course it is snack time and no one can open up those darn milk cartons. Were they even designed to be opened? I’m not convinced. I think it’s a game Oak hurst plays against adults , a little cat and mouse, dairy escape room game if you will. The same game is played by the paper towel company, because I’m sure they are recycled but by what pavement? They literarily expel liquid instead of absorbing it. I have used 23 brown paper towels against one oakhurst milk carton and so you can see how these companies work against me. By then I am hangry and my eyes always look for the dorito bags. I know I know, little suzi has avocado and orange peppers sliced up in her compartmentalized lunchbox with a pink heart that says I love you baby, but in that moment my diet has hit the gotham gutter of the day and I would like a bag of doritos, or some of those sticks with the nutella, or maybe just the nutella. I have no idea what it would be like to teach high school, but I”m assuming that they get on their phone and snap chat instead of waving the junk food in front of the teacher with the plummeting blood sugar. I love people that say, oh you must love teaching kindergarten, it keeps you young. Well you know what else it keeps me, hungry.