pexels-photo-266011.jpegIs it a unique experience unto me that my first child left me completely unprepared for my second one?  Granted her infancy was difficult in that she was born very premature and had the reflux screams like you read about it, but then that girl hit 2 and I thought my god I’ve got this , I’ve figured it out.  She was a great eater at 2, potty trained like a champ and had a vocabulary like some four year olds.  I used to high five my husband over dinner like aren’t we just the best, we have it all figured out.  Then I learned I was pregnant with my second and even the pregnancy was different.  Everything made me want to run to the toilet wretching and the heart burn was unreal.  Then when he was born he ate well and slept well for well , six weeks and that ended that.  After that he was up every two hours on the dot.  I remember taking him to daycare when I had to go back to work at seven weeks and crying at the door.  Our daycare provider was worried and she assured me he would be okay.  “No” I replied, “I’m just so damn tired” and I was and still continue to be.  As my son has grown up, he is the polar opposite of his big sister. I have had to discipline him in a more physical manner.  I have carried him many a time screaming away from the park, or the pool, or my bed.  He still continues to battle with sleep a lot of times and he also a knack for following any unwanted behavior at school.  Most days I look at them and I just can’t believe they are siblings. On the other hand, he loves and shows affection so intentionally that he has smushed a place in my heart forever.  When I wrestle him into his dump truck comforter at night, he always snuggles right into my hip and breathes into my cheek.  I am always surprised at their differences but always securely attached to them as well.

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